My younger sister got married. OK well her Nikkah was last
year but I just returned from the cultural side of the wedding in the
mother-land so now it’s all official. Wonderful. I am now officially a marital
social outcast. At community gatherings, I don’t get to sit with the married
women which includes my sister and friends. I am in a different room. With the
single girls. Most of who are at least 7 years younger than me. I’m that weird one
that gets given peoples babies to look after so that the mums can go off and
have a good ol’ time whilst single old weirdo me is mandated to make sure none
of the kids stick their fingers into plug sockets. F.M.L.
On a more positive note, I am thrilled for my sister. She is
wonderful mashAllah and her man is someone I have known (of?) since childhood
and he is brilliant so I am so happy for them. Of course, I still have an
overwhelming desire to repeatedly bang my head against a wall and cry at the
irony of this all, but in summary I am well proud. On a more negative note, my
birthday is coming up aka my cultural bridal expiry date. Panic. Panic. Panic.
Whilst away I did learn one thing about my wish list. No way
to freshies. Like no way. I am basing this on a solid sample size of about 15
men. The sample was comprised of cousins and cousins’ husbands. The sample was
matched for ethnicity. The mean age of the sample was about 27. Don’t get me
wrong, I love my family but marrying someone with the attitudes and opinions
like the ones they had would result in me being sectioned. To top it off, when
offering my opinion, in 3 situations, I was outright ignored. I wanted to jump
up and down stamping my foot like a petulant child and scream ‘where I come
from fancy schmancy important people take my advice!’ I figured the screaming
might not accompany the sentiment so well. I opted to comfort eat instead.
Thankfully my brother, who can do and say no wrong (often
working in my favour), agreed. Since my parents haven’t spoken about me meeting prospective #4 since
our return from the motherland I figured my bro must have had a quiet and stern
word with them. Only, on asking him it turns out he didn’t. Despite not wanting
to meet prospective 4, this is further evidence that my wonderful wonderful
wonderful parents do not know what they’re doing!!! To rely on my super awesome
gorgeous parents could be fatal!!! Now that I think about it, I wonder how many
other men have come and gone- arrived to announce their potential interest in a
girl who they have little but demographic information about- and then just
disappeared after having to deal with the lack of parental organisation skills.
I also seem to have hit a general low point in this quest of
mine. When I played the role of ‘let’s set up my sister’- it took a phone call,
a text message or two and a convo and within 3 weeks there he was at my parents
place, with his parents, getting engaged to my sister. 3 weeks. Based on my own
minimal experience I didn’t think it was going to happen that quickly, so I
essentially inadvertently significantly contributed to my current status as
cultural social outcast. Within 3 months they were married. 3 months!!?!!!?!
Ergh. Cue self-deprecating rumination.
