Prospective # 2

There are those who you  meet via parental arrangement (prospective # 1). And then there are those you meet through your own friends/ by accident. Like prospective number 2. After a long hard day at work I decided to turn up to my friend’s house, totally unannounced, and there in the lounge was the rather lovely prospective 2. I had not showered in 2 days (yes yes gross I know), was exhausted from work (I had the darkest circles under my eyes) and essentially my clothing resembled that of the local homeless population (stained old baggy sweatshirt).

Sometime later it was brought to my attention that prospective number 2 liked me enough to actually want to meet me under the umbrella of ‘let’s get to know each other r.e. big picture life stuff i.e. marriage.’ I was shocked (mashAllah he is very attractive and intelligent and I, well, looked like a hobo and was fairly certain that most of our conversation involved me rambling incoherently due to tiredness) but I was excited (because mashAllah he is very attractive and intelligent and despite my homeless-esque rambling seems to have at least taken an initial shine to me).  So we agreed to meet for coffee (haraam, haraam! Yes I know...but it was a public place...that’s ok right?!)

It was a great afternoon. I rambled a lot out of nervousness but otherwise thought we connected really well, simply thought he was lovely and looked forward to getting to know him better.  Sadly I’m not sure if that sentiment was reciprocated. I received a text message that evening- apparently there were things that he liked about me- and then things that he didn’t and therefore did not think that we were a good match. Balls. The notion of me knowing what I wanted to do with my life was, in summary, not ideal. 

I felt that I had been judged too quickly. Didn’t you hear me say that I know what I’m doing for the next couple of years but not after that? That I always thought I wanted to do ‘a’ but then it turned out ‘a’ was the worse career path ever and now I have no idea what I want to do other than this naive notion that I am going to save the world??  You didn’t even get to hear the part about how I’m not sure if I should be saving the world because I want a family! OK, maybe I didn’t sell those points clearly enough, perhaps because I was trying to make a good first impression...

 Are you supposed to sell your insecurities so openly on a first meeting? I was saving that for the second or third. It’s ironic really, because my dear friends have recently been subject to lengthy emails and long rambling monologues about how I am on a journey at the moment to figure out how best I can contribute to the world, trying out different things here and there, that I thought I had it all figured out, and then Allah opened my eyes about the corruptness of life- path ‘a’ but that I have faith that He will eventually guide me in the right direction, as He always has.  

I was not angry with prospective 2- more disappointed (at the situation, not at him). Great guys are hard to come by and I sensed that prospective 2 was one of those rarities. Totally my loss.  Well, I have a ‘life-is-too-short’ philosophy. After giving it some thought  I decided that in order to ensure that yes he was correct and we were not a good match or indeed vice versa,  we ought to meet again. So we are meeting again in a few weeks, but not so much under the guise of bigger picture stuff - (haraaaaaaaaam! Yes, I am the suckiest Muslim ever- but if it makes you feel any better I have told my parents - well ok, not about meeting him in person because, you know, that’s haraaaaaaaam- O God forgive me I am a liar as well).