Prospective #2 got married?!?!???!!!!!?!!!!??!?!
I discovered this through one of those social networking sites one fine morning before work. This resulted in screaming 'what!?' in pitches that I could never reach in choir practice and in a variety of locations- you know- just to sound check on the acoustics in the car, the shower, and very quietly in the toilets at work.
Was I screaming because I wanted to be the one getting legally tied down to him? No. How, in the six months since we were last in touch, did prospective 2 acquire his life long partner? How?
How did he get his act together??????
After finding a dear friend (instead of empty rooms) to scream at/with, some fine advice was given:
Just because you get married does not mean you have your act together.
Boom.
Of course I wish #2 all the best etc etc but in summary, just because I am NOT married does not mean I haven't got my act together either.
I find that I am succumbing to the humanity of this experience rather than turning to Allah. Hmm. I stopped praying for anything marriage related a while ago and instead fester in despondency, which unfortunately seems to be serving an unhealthy function for me.
It seems easier to turn to the community and go along with their 10 year theory about me not wanting to get married than it is to continue to look for someone and turn to the community and go no one wants to spend more than 1-5 hours meeting with me let alone sign a binding contract!
Whilst this is all grossly emo I never forget that I have a roof over my head, a fantastic job, the best friends and family, and a body that for the most part is totally working mA!
Maybe my next step is to actually understand what it means to get married for the sake of Allah versus selfish needs. Right?
It's GENERALLY a lot easier for guys to get married at the moment to be honest. I know of some real loser-type guys who basically have prospectives lining up to see them. All I can say is don't worry about other people too much - it's you that matters and your time will come soon inshaAllah
ReplyDeleteI LOVE YOUR BLOG
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteAwww sister don't despair, trust me a lot of my friends met many 'strange' people before they actually found the right spouse for themselves. Right now it may look dismal but he is out there somewhere and you will find him. Your doing the hard work and Allah will make it easy for you, Inshallah.
ReplyDeleteM&M
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ReplyDeleteAny updates? Why did you stop writing? InshAllah you are happily married now...
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