Does she...exercise?

God bless my parents but it's taken me almost 7 years to realise that they have little to no idea what they are doing when it comes to arranging marriages. During this time, they have successfully arranged a meeting with.... one guy. My friends in comparison seem to have had a revolving door system when it comes to the season of arranging set-ups. And hecs, they is all married off now. I mean, finding your prospective partner is hard. Period. Surely the more people you meet the higher probability there is of finding the best person for you? Well, seeing as how my parents aren't doing it I suppose it's time to take matters into my own hands! Hence this blog...

Now, I'm confident enough to say that the lack of set-ups isn't a problem with me (per se). There are no photos being displayed prior to any prospective husbands rocking up at my place and on paper, I don't sound too bad! My parents, though they fret and fret, just don't seem to be arranging these set-ups!! This was (ironically) what I feared the most when I was younger. And now at this ripe (old) age, I am like- bring on the set-ups!!! Where the hec did all the men go?? (They're married to your friends...)

In any case, the one man they did set me up with (prospective # 1) was an... interesting experience. He came to my house with his mother, and my mum and brother were with me. I didn't realise at the time but apparently we are old family friends. We get chatting, I'm deadly nervous and don't think I have stammered so much in my life!! But, we actually got on quite well. Seemingly had a lot in common, in particular with regards to our work, which is a little unusual so it's quite  rare to find someone 'in the community' who has the same background. Prospective number 1 was also ever so slightly beautiful and I had ever so slightly at that point lost some weight, but still a long way away from my goal. And from first impressions: good Muslim. (What does that even mean!?) Deen is important right? I mean I am not perfect but I am steadily getting better. 

Anyway- at the end of all of that, a few days later I get an email from prospective 1. How exciting! Its a good email, lots of info, complimentary to me, all very good. "This is great, I didn't come across as a total loser and he had the courtesy to get in touch- great!" I reply, nothing special, nothing strange, just a standard reply- ensuring one or two questions are in there in order to facilitate communication. That was a year and a half ago. I never heard from him again. 

Parental excuses included: he works abroad a lot maybe he hasn't got access to email. Potentially true, as his work takes him into the middle of no where. However, (in thinking about the bible of all relationship films:  'He's just not that in to you') if a man is interested he will 'make it happen', right? He could have taken a motorbike in the middle of the night, crossed military checkpoints and risked his life to send an email, but: he. just. didn't. 

In addition, his mother seemed to have taken a shine to my parents, and they received more communication from her than I did from him. One rather wonderful comment that went round was, "does she exercise? does she go to the gym". Ah, what a politically correct way of saying "your daughter is a fatty. I suggest she gets some cardio in there because despite everything else being hey-ok-with her, its imperative my son gets hitched to a hottie. "

OK, OK maybe I exaggerated the interpretation. But I get it. Balls. So in trying to learn what it is that I might want from a future husband, because quite frankly at this stage I had no idea, this is what I learned from this experience:

-men and their mothers don't like you because you are overweight. 

Argh, what a crap life lesson!? What about my 'pretty face', my *cough* winning personality, my...errrr... sense of humour??? I willingly watch sport on TV, I would be the best wife ever!

OK: reinterpret:

- that particular man, and his mother,were not particularly big fans of you mostly due to your (at that time) body shape but potentially for other undefined reasons such as your 'winning personality', 'sense of humour' and the amazing stammer that you developed during the meeting. 

That's healthier. So after a while (about 6 months later) I jumped back on the healthy bandwagon.

Also about 12 months later, sitting around waiting for more set-ups I realised I would have to take matters into my own hands. You want something to happen. You make it happen!