Wish lists

So it’s pretty difficult to meet Muslim guys in day to day life. Thank God for the internet. I decided to bite the bullet and sign up to a site. Sure, for every 100 oddballs that contact you there’s one good one. You just have to stick it out!!

It can be painful. Since signing up about 6 weeks ago, I can’t count the number of: ‘hi hw ru doin cn I hav ur nmbr u gt nce fse’ messages I’ve had. I don’t know why, I just find text-speak offensive. O and the blatant request for personal contact information on the first message. Go. Away. And. Learn. 2. Rite. Propaly.

Anyway, this brings me to prospective #3. Very interesting guy, articulate, intelligent, polite, gentleman (well as gentlemanly as one can be over the net).  All in all I found the first 1 out of the 100 wierdos that wasn’t such a weirdo!! Big contrast from prospective #2 as #3 seems to have taken an interest in the drive/motivation side of me, as this seems to be quite a big feature of himself.

I’m not sure if I like that or not. In theory, I should. But something about a guy who is going to be preoccupied with work doesn’t entirely appeal. Ironic really, as people might look at me and think the exact same thing. As hard as it might be for some of my friends to believe- I am super traditional at heart!! Hec, I might even have a bit of a maternal complex when it comes to guys: (In theory) I actually look forward to cooking, cleaning and caring for my future partner!? God, I confuse myself sometimes…

Anyways, prospective 3 asked me a very wise, very sensible, frankly quite brilliant question: What do I hope for from a marriage. Such a good question, but I had to confess that I could not provide an immediate answer as err… I hadn’t actually thought it through. Not a sensible game plan for someone looking to get married eh?

 So many of my friends and relatives have gotten married recently and I question whether they even thought it through. I know girls and guys with long comprehensive lists of what they want their partner to be, or more often than not, look like: tall, fair, slim, orthopaedic surgeon, blood type O, 2 sisters, 5 brothers, no hereditary diseases, good breath, willing to relocate to country of [my] choice, Arsenal supporter. Well I don’t have a list. Or a type. I tend to find that I’m attracted to the person first and what they look like is kind of secondary. It explains my strange attraction to your not-so-typically-attractive celebrities. Example: James Gandolfini. Ewwww. But also ahhhhh. 


Creating a wish list for an ideal partner seems like a recipe for disaster. Surely you just set yourself up for failure? Also it sort of seems to defeat the point. Marriage is a joint venture right? The way you interact with your partner, your dynamic with each other shapes your relationship. The ideal partner list would only work if you're magically insightful enough to understand those dynamics. Hey, maybe everyone is and I just haven't figured it out yet. 

 I won’t be making a ‘what I want from a marriage’ list. Maybe just a series of generic paragraphs. But am definitely thinking about it a little more seriously. So far all I have come up with is ‘becoming better Muslims together.'

But then…. My parents announced that they have (finally) found another guy to set me up with. Huzzah!!! Prospective #4 is in da house!  Only, he’s from the motherland. And has lived in the UK for just under a year. Hmm. Err… I know that somehow this doesn’t feel compatible with my non-existent ‘list’ of what I want from a marriage. But I can’t quite justify how. I know he wouldn’t fit on my non-existent ‘list’ of ‘what my partner should in theory be like’ but since I have vowed to not create one of those, I will meet him. It might be a total disaster. I suspect as much. But who the hec am I to judge? I played Elder Scrolls Oblivion for 13 hours on Sunday. I am a bona fide dork!