Well, we can successfully rule out prospective #3 (online
guy). Apparently my inability to communicate via the internet and repeatedly
going off travelling this summer did not suit his (lack of) tolerance for
‘flaky people’. Balls. I’m not flaky, but yes I am notoriously useless at
online stuff. In fact, in true flaky form I have failed to reply to him to
apologise.
Prospective #4 is definitely
out of the picture now. In the end my brother did speak to my parents in a bid
to rule out all freshies. Good job bro. I’m assuming his involvement in this
process, given he is 7 years younger than me, is not so much out of love and
adoration but more that he is on the hunt for a super fun epic brother in law.
Well it’s a mutually beneficial agenda so I’m ok with him sticking his nose in!
So really that leaves prospective #2. Ahh prospective 2...
Before I went off on my epic travels we spent a lot of time in comms with each
other. Lots of time. Too much time for my liking but enough time for me to think:
hey, well, you’re the one instigating all of this communication- what’s going
on here? I thought we weren’t a good match? What does this mean, what does this
meaaaaannnn?
Courtesy of jet-lag I’m too tired to care about what it
means at this moment in time. I am yet to inform him that I am back from my
travels. As soon as I muster up the energy my grand plan is to perform istikharah.
If Allah gives me the go ahead then I will do something about prospective #2.
If He doesn’t give me the go ahead then I will save myself a text-message and forget
the whole thing.
Thanks to ‘A Muslimah’s’ great suggestion I have started to
talk to more people to get them on board with my grand plan to complete half my
deen. (PS read her awesome blog: http://muslimamusing.blogspot.co.uk/).
So whilst visiting my cousins I announced over dinner that I was on the search.
They initially expressed total surprise having been under the assumption that
as my little sister got married first, that I must have been too
career-consumed and rejecting men left right and centre in a bit to
complete my quest to become supreme
dictator of the world. I corrected them accordingly: man, babies, then supreme
dictator of the world. Not: supreme dictator of the world, man, and if my
ovaries haven’t collapsed by then: babies.
It turned out that my long lost cousin has a
set-people-up-for-marriage-non-profit-business on the side and in true
professional form, she proceeded to email me a list of men, their demographic
details and other interesting information about them. My job is to explain what
I want and what I definitely don’t want, based on the examples she has
provided. Excellent!! My cousins are totally on board!! So again on A Muslimah’s
suggestion and my cousin’s I will begin formulating an ‘essential’, ‘desirable’
and ‘no freaking way’ list. Back to those lists.... So far all I got in ‘essential’
is: Muslim and Man.
That narrows it down to a few million right?
Assalamu Aleykum sister,
ReplyDeleteI've been reading your blog for a while now and so far I really enjoy your posts. Perhaps it's also a good idea to get your muslim friends from work involved. I don't know how big the muslim community is in your city. If you live in a big city it's likely that you don't know everyone though. Also, if it's a small city perhaps they know some prospects from the neighbouring cities. I thought of your colleagues first because I'm thinking that chances are you have lots of mutual interests and therefore it's easier to have them suggest prospects than someone who doesn't know you well.
I have no experience whatsoever in matchmaking but that's what came to mind first. Maybe it's a good idea, maybe not. Whichever it is I hope your quest results in marriage with the right person InshaAllah.
Also thank you for posting a suggestion and your kind words. I truly appreciate it! :)
DeleteW/S Clutter. That is a great idea and I wish I could do that but surprinsingly I am the only Muslim amongst all my colleagues! Im relying on Allah, friends and family! :)
ReplyDeleteSalaam! I discovered your blog tonight and it has had me giggling. Keep fighting the good fight, and please consider me for the position of 'crony' when you become supreme dictator.
ReplyDeleteAw Noodles. You're welcome :) Now I'm curious about what you do for a living. Although some things are better kept out of blogging considering how little privacy there is on the net today. Relying on Allah is very important. After all He only knows what is best for us.
ReplyDeleteSalaam, thanks for the shout out :). Lol at your essentials list! Even though it would end your lol-worthy posts, I really hope things work out for you soon inshaAllah.
ReplyDeletesalams,
ReplyDeleteperhaps i don't know if you have mentioned this already but i don't just wait around for a result from my istikhara prayer. if i am approached for marriage, i say my prayers and go ahead..if meanwhile, i have my trust in God..if the prospect is good for me then it will happen. i'd never wait around on fate to show me a sign. As I believe, we shud do what we can as humans and God will do what we cannot. subhaAllah. Hope that helps,
HS
I'm really late to this... But it seems like you really dropped the ball on prospective #3. I don't mean to be rude but if you have time to blog about marriage, why don't you have time to email about marriage? Ignoring someone who is trying to make a genuine effort to try to get to know you, and then putting them in a position where they're waiting day after day for a response that will never come, is not vey nice...
ReplyDeleteEven now, it's not too late to reconnect and apologize... And if that person happens to be single still, who knows?
@Anonymous: Prospective 3 is that you?!
ReplyDeleteNo, LOL. But I was in a similar situation in the past. The girl eventually reached out to me again -- and I was so glad when she did. I didn't want to put in so much effort if the person on the other end wasn't going to reciprocate, and here she was again. Things went along better than the first time we were communicating. I had a feeling she was into me, and I was into her. I got invested, excited at what could possibly be. And then, one day, out of the blue, she dropped me because of her education/career goals -- said that her pursuit of those would come (and were coming) at my expense because I was so ready to settle down and all that, and she wasn't so sure. Even though I made every effort to convey that I was willing to find a way to make it work, even support her in her goals.
ReplyDeleteWhen I think back about it, it was probably just an excuse on her part. She probably wasn't into me for whatever reason -- though I don't know why she would lead me on so long. Maybe she was scared, hesitant. I don't think I did or said anything wrong. It just sucks. I had a strong feeling that I had found someone special; I know it. Now I'm just left with confusion and a memory. Someone in my head I'm not going to be able to forget, someone I'm constantly going to be comparing others against. Groaan.